Friday, March 21, 2008
It's been almost a week since you last talked to me. And as much as I hate to admit it, I miss you. I really do. I know a week or less isn't enough to say that because first of all, it has to be longer. And I know. I'm not supposed to miss you right now but guess what, I do. I miss everything about you. I miss the way you smile, the way you laugh, sometimes, even the way your eyes look. I miss every part of you. The way you walk, the way you talk, the way you imitate other people, the way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you disturb me and make the important things I'm doing seem worthless. I don't know why, but all I know is that I miss you and there's no reason behind it all.
You don't know how hard it is to pretend I don't feel anything towards you right now. You don't know how hard it is to just pass you by without even uttering a word, without tapping your back and then laugh.. you don't know how much I miss the sound of your voice. It's hard to just look at you and see how much you don't care. It's hard to look at your eyes and just say "never mind", I know it sounds weird, but it's true. Everyday without you there just seems hard and weird. Things don't fit anymore and everything feels so colorless since the day you "walked out" and never left a word since.
I know I've tried to know the reason behind all of this. At first, I thought it was a joke, then I slowly realized that there was something wrong with either me or you and that's why you didn't talk to me. I bet there wasn't anything wrong with you but there's something wrong I did to you that made you look so mad at me that you even started to ignore me. Is that how much you hate me now? You know what, with other people, when they act that way towards me, I could careless about whatever they want to say next. I wouldn't even bother to hear from them again. But I don't know why things are different with you. I don't know why and probably, I never will.
I know you're tired of hearing this.. but: I want to talk to you. I know I've included that in one of those billion messages I sent you in the past days to which you didn't reply to any one of them. And guess what, you're ignoring me kind of attitude just affects me. I hate the way we are right now and it hurts me even more to know that you left me here without giving me a reason why.
All I want to say right now is that I miss you and I really want to talk to you. I don't hate you, I never would and you know it. I know I've passed you by in those hallways and didn't even bother to say a word. But deep inside, I really do want to tell you something.. I just do. Maybe words like "I miss you" and other stuff like that. But I guess I never will.
