Saturday, May 31, 2008
This is for one person who used to be a big part of my world but ended up not being with me right now.
Well, it's been weeks since that day; almost a month, I guess. The first few days of you're 'stepping out of my life' were probably one of the hardest and most awkward moments in my life. At that time, I didn't know what to do and I didn't even know who to turn to at the time. I was lost. I had no where to go and the only guide I had was myself, I couldn't depend on anyone. The way you left me there made such a big aspect in my life and I could say it was hard to move on from everything. But somehow, I learned to walk away from what was done and I realized that it was one of those things that wasn't meant to last. It was hard to accept since for the last 2 years, you've been like an inspiration for me. But who would've thought it could've ended this way, right? I didn't think it would end either. I thought it was forever. I mean, you promised it too. But just what is forever? I don't know, I don't believe in it anymore. It's just a word that seems to be so meaningless to everyone. But after a while, I realized that I should get back with my life. I've been missing out on things and I've lost too much. I can't take it anymore, I just had to leave it there and not care about it. I did. I tried. It was hard, but it was worth it. It was a very painful experience but I had to go through it.. I guess everybody has to.
So there. A few weeks after the so-called 'separation', I began to think less of you and more of other people who were there for me. And finally, the day came where all my hard work would be put together to make something good. It was the day where I finally woke up and stopped thinking about what you think of me and how things would work out. Maybe it's because I got used to life without you and maybe because I realized that there were other people who were willing to be there for me and unfortunately, you're not one of them. I woke up that day thinking things couldn't get any better. It was the day that I could finally say, I was freakin' over you. And the same smile came back to my face. The same smile I longed for so long to come back came back again and I was happy again. And this time, without you there.
